It was the summer of 2006, whether it was July or August I can no longer recall. What I do recall is the sheer terror I was experiencing. I was in the garage, sitting in a lawn chair and at the end of my rope. Tears were streaming down my face and I kept saying, “I don’t want to be here … I don’t want to be here …” over and over again. I was experiencing something so horrifying that even now I cannot convey it through words. I had an extreme fight or flight feeling, it was an unbearable feeling that I could no longer endure. Under my skin (I thought at the time)  were thousands of worms crawling, squirming, and biting me. It was painful, scary, and extremely unnerving. I was literally coming unglued.

Suddenly my wife came into the garage with the cordless phone, it was our pastor on the line. When she handed me the phone I couldn’t speak. I could only cry. My pastor kept saying “What is going on …” and each time I tried to speak I burst into tears, this went on for quite some time until I finally got it together enough to tell him I had what folks were calling Morgellons. He hadn’t heard about it. So I explained it and told him my body was absolutely infested with parasites (because that’s exactly what it felt like). Now he had been on mission trips and was not unfamiliar with parasites and had taken antiparasiticals himself in order to travel to certain areas. I was taking them too at the time (on my own which I DO NOT recommend). He told me he knew a doctor that I could see and then made me promise I wouldn’t do anything foolish (things were worse than I’m letting on here but I need to be sensitive to those who might be in that dark place right now). I felt extremely relieved, help was on the way. It was the first time I had told anyone other than my wife that I had what appeared to be Morgellons (and even she didn’t believe).

So much transpired before the events described above that I could write a book, strange things were happening to me. I had what appeared to be glitter pouring from my forehead. The glitter would cover my shirt and people would actually ask me about it at work (I could see it fall past my eyes as I worked). Tiny black gnats were around me constantly, and indoors at work. You cannot imagine the embarrassment. I am sure they were hatching out of me, in fact, I know they were. When I walked into the team meeting everyone immediately began to scratch their nose and face, it was instantaneous too as soon as I was in their line of site. I was afraid they would put things together and realize the reaction they were having was emanating from me. And there were other things too that I simply cannot mention as they are, quite frankly, to disturbing to recall. The mere suggestion that I caught this by reading an article on the internet is utterly ridiculous. I will be writing a follow up article that will destroy that argument on its face.

I went to see the doctor my pastor set me up with. He asked me the typical questions, “What countries have you traveled too …” and so on, you know the drill. By the time the appointment was over he asked me if it was okay if he could call my wife. I knew what he was thinking, “This guy is off his rocker” and I was at the time, at least in part. I fully admit that. I told him “No” and left. From that point on I knew I was on my own. What was happening to me was beyond imagining or believing to someone who wasn’t experiencing it.

Fear

If you Google “Mans top ten fears” you will find “Fear of Spiders” and “Fear of Disease” in the top ten which is an interesting perspective on human nature. What I was experiencing were both of these wrapped into one singular horror, only it wasn’t a phobia, it was a real physical “thing” occurring inside my body. I had what felt like bugs crawling under my skin, and sometimes, the movement felt like big things moving, as if there were worms several inches in length beneath my skin. I’m sure by this point in this blog post any doctor reading along has already made his or her decision that I’m either delusional, a drug addict, or simply plain old crazy. But none of these are the case. I am a software architect, a very good one, and the President of a successful software company to this very day.

I could barely function I was so frightened (at this point I hadn’t really become sick yet but that day was coming and is not covered in this post). Imagine the absurdity of my wife asking me what I wanted for dinner as I sat there feeling what appeared to be hundreds if not thousands of “things” crawling under my skin. I mean “How you can you talk about dinner? Do you know what the hell is happening to me!” Of course, I did not say that out-loud. No, instead it was representative of what was racing through my mind whenever anyone spoke to me. I have no idea how I managed to keep functioning professionally. What was happening to me overwhelmed my “normal” life and I found myself living another “secrete” life. A life I couldn’t (and still cannot) tell anyone about. And this “secrete” life was full of fear, but I had to maintain the illusion that everything was alright or else lose everything. Now, mix into this an incredible feeling of panic, of flight or fight, and the realization of knowing that no one was going to help me, not doctors, no one. The world that once made sense to me, that was fun and safe seemed to be slipping away. Not knowing exactly what it was that was causing the crawling, biting, and stinging I began to suspect anything and everything. Yes, when doctors see a Morgellons patient they (we) are messed up, fearful, half delusional, no doubt about it. However, this comes after Morgellons and is the effect, not the cause. It is a direct result of the horrifying experience we are thrust into.

To the typical Morgellons patient that has been dealing with this for a while the fear of parasites has probably worn off. You realize most of the world deals with them and suffers from them. It is really only here in North America where the very concept of parasitical infection is almost always denied outright. Amazing how this one continent is simply devoid of them. This even though the CDC states that 14% of pet owners are infected with their pet’s worms (and you know the real number is much higher because testing misses most parasites). Considering how many homes in America have pets (if the CDC statement is correct) then we are talking tens of millions of people in America alone infected with their pet’s worms (but I digress). I am not saying Morgellons is worms by any means, only that it often feels like it and it’s dismissed outright even though this is fairly common in the most of the world, including our own as it would appear according to the CDC. Who is going through life with blinders on, me or the doctor? But don’t let me frighten you. I am only saying this because given the statements from the CDC above and the fact that it “feels” like we have worms the refusal to even examine us is well, negligent at best.

Anxiety

It’s hard to separate anxiety from fear but if you suffer from anxiety (and I didn’t before Morgellons) you know the difference between fear and anxiety. Since I was on my own I did what most in my situation would do, I started looking for answers. I researched and posted on forums. The forums were good from a support perspective but also bad in many ways. People love to post every new scary parasite article, ponder every horrible thing this could be, post conspiracies about population control, and intentional infection. They like to share horrifying photo’s of things coughed up, pulled out, or dug out of a stool sample, everywhere is some bizarre parasite (or so it is said). Also, sometimes dangerous things are suggested as protocols, and I did some things I really regret, things that could have really hurt me. Now, before you get mad at me, I also did those all of those things at times, I was right there in the thick of it all. I am condemning no one. We are on our own having been kicked to the curb by the enlightened ones.

All of the above can lead to extreme anxiety and fear (which will deplete you of Magnesium and minerals your body needs). Some boards are safer than others however. If you find yourself hitting a forum in an almost addictive fashion and yet you hate doing so because it fills you with fear then you probably need to stop surfing that or those forums. It’s more important to heal than to find the cause. Instead pour your energy into getting better rather than reading technical documents you barely comprehend.

Isolation

Unlike a cancer patient who is diagnosed, offered a range of treatment options, and then surrounded by compassionate, lovinig family members we are mocked and abandoned, not only by the medical community but often by our family members. I have a wife and 3 children, had I been alone things would have been so much harder. However, this caused a ton of angst between my wife and I at one point. If you live alone my prayers are with you, I know it must be terribly difficult for you.

Because of my contacts with certain folks I receive letters and emails from sufferers from time to time, they are heart breaking, sometimes scary, and make me realize how in the midst of all this I am very lucky. Others have and do suffer far worse than I ever did or have. They are often totally alone, unable to comprehend what is happening to them, without health care, single mothers adrift with no one to help, abandoned by their families, some have even walked away from homes sure that they were so infested they had no other choice. Finally, many have been treated most wretchedly by doctors they turned to for help. Many a times I have ducked down in cube and wept upon reading them, and at times, I have had to leave work and sit in my car in the parking lot to regather myself. A few of you know what I am talking about and have seen those letters. There are many working silently behind the scenes that you never hear about, I just feel it’s important to let you know about such things because it’s comforting to those suffering.  All I do is write about things, others are in the trenches, actually doing things, offering their time and energy, like Trisha Springstead and many, many others.

For every one of us here reading this there are a thousand out there right now who cannot get a handle on what is happening to them, and that is probably an understatement. Many will lose their homes and every dime they have to their name before this is all over. You have all read such stories.

The Battle for your Mind

If you suffer from this then you know there is something almost unholy, menacing, and terrorizing about Morgellons. To top it off we get to go through the experience scorned and alone. You might end up labeled DOP or worse. What the doctors refuse to realize is what Amelia summed up so well in her response to the Psychiatric Times.

From a psychiatric standpoint, it is inappropriate to use the term “psychological aberrations” instead of a specific psychiatric diagnosis or condition.  Next, the allegation that the patients “drift” from one physician to another implies a judgment on the nature of the quest to find a health professional who is committed to finding relief for the patient’s suffering.

Such patients are further maligned for waiting until they present as “an emergency” (sic).  If a patient is repeatedly turned away by one practitioner after another, it is understandable that they might be reluctant to seek help until the condition is perceived as an emergency.

By the time we get into a doctors office we are extremely upset, stressed out, anxious, fearful, and maybe even partially over the rainbow. This is quite understandable and I say a completely natural response given the experience. It’s astounding that doctors cannot understand this basic human reaction to such a horrible situation.

The fear that mounts up and rides side by side with Morgellons can in fact be worse than Morgellons itself.

Deciding to Control What You Let Your Mind Dwell Upon

At times, fear is going to wash over you like a wave, you might even be gripped by it right now, unable to escape its grasp. Fear still sweeps over me even now at times. It is extremely important to your recovery that you begin to overcome this fear. You might find that counseling or psychiatry helps and should feel no shame for seeking such help. For me, I simply fight the battle in my mind each day when presented with the choice to panic or stay rational.

When the crawlies hit me I can panic and start thinking about what horrible thing this crawling sensation might be or I can simply choose not to entertain such thoughts. I can control Morgellons with my protocol for the most part but if I let my mind run wild with speculation and again become obsessive about finding the root cause, wasting every waking hour on the hunt, I know I will get worse. The stress, fear, and anxiety alone will ensure that things begin to go downhill for me again.

You can push so hard and freak out so bad that you can end up like Gillian Penkethman in this article and be involuntarily committed. I have corresponded to people that have been locked away and there have been some mothers on forums who have had their children taken away. If you need medical help by all means seek it, but be calm. I never mentioned the word Morgellons after that doctors visit mentioned above. After that I merely talked symptoms.

The other day I watched a video of a person holding a lint roller up to a thread that was coming off her couch, and the thread (which was a frayed thread the from the couch) was attacking the lint roller (as it was stated). And then several folks chimed in stating to stay away from it and such. Now, I’m not trying to be cruel here, believe me, I was over the edge at the onset of Morgellons. But clearly in that video the thread was attracted to the lint roller by nothing more than mere static electricity, it was painfully obvious. Don’t let yourself get into that mindset where you are obsessively examining every thread, fiber, and spec and seeing the boogie man where there is none. I realize that sounds condescending but I’m merely relaying what has proven to be so important in my feeling better. If you are spiraling down that path it’s time to pull up.

So what is your Decision?

Start today letting go of Morgellons and begin to reclaim your life back, laugh, have fun, don’t be afraid of the outside. Sure, if you’re a sufferer you have it, but you aren’t controlled by it unless that is you choose to be. Each and every day you need to resist the fear until you reach the place where you are no longer temped to “stay in wonderland and see how deep the rabbit hole goes …” I am in no way making light of Morgellons, it is a serious physical problem and very real.

There is so much left unsaid here, we will touch on this topic much more in the future. If you are a family member helping those with this condition hopefully you have gained some insight into what your family member or friend might be going through.

Mr. Common Sense

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Comments on: "Morgellons – Fear, Anxiety, and Isolation" (39)

  1. Terrific post, Mr CS. You really summed it up well, and I know that in itself will provide comfort for those in the “dark place.”
    Thank you!

  2. Again, you hit the nail on the head.
    Again, you bring the voice of reason to many.
    For some, the nightmare is magnified by the deadly fear of infecting others,
    of inflicting the horror they experience on others, merely by their presence.
    Including their children, spouses, other people’s children and spouses, etc.
    Of worse, that they already have–that their relative’s morgellon’s symptoms
    are due to that kiss or hug…

    What advice can be offered to them?

    • netmu, you are so correct, I totally overlooked that in this post. You know where I stated in the “Quoted section” that so much transpired before this point? Well, this is what did …

      I lived in total fear of infecting my children or wife. I explored ways to live in an apartment or some other approach that would get me out of the house. It just wasn’t feasable nor in the end could I bare being away from my family. So here’s what I did.

      1) I slept on our leather couch for 2+ years (no one was ever allowed on that couch but me)
      2) I used our bathroom downstairs (which no one else used)
      3) I never hugged or touched the kids for 2+ years
      4) My laundry was never washed with anyone elses, always kept seperate
      5) I sat only in a single wooden chair, nobody else was allowed to touch it

      So yes, it was a living hell and a major concern of mine. Despite all this, my two boys (daughter managed to avoid it) did have Morgellons for about 6 months to a year, it’s a long story, but my older son especially, had it on his face, a wierd funky fungus (which I didn’t have like he did) was on his face, it was black and you could like rub it off. It was full of red/blue fibers, just like I had all under my skin. The pediatrician was confused, gave us some anti-fungal cream. I showed my wife through the scope (she never believed in Morgellons). When she saw with her own eyes the fibers all through my sons skin she laid on our bed and cried and cried.

      Eventually, and I don’t know how, the kids passed it, or defeated it. And I”ll be honest, it was my absolute worst fear come true when I realize they had it. However, I am not so sure I gave it to them, rather, we were all exposed to something at the same time. I do not know for sure.

      I think steps I outlined above should be used by anyone to protect their loved ones if they can do it. One thing of note, the computer, where I felt bitten the worst, never bothered my wife and it was absolutely terrible for me to be around it though I had to because it’s what I do.

      Now, here’s the kicker. My wife still doesn’t believe Morgellons exists, even though she cried and cried when she saw it in the kids, to this day (now) she denies the event, as if it didn’t happen. I don’t bring it up, and frankly, it was too much for her to bare for her, she was a wreck that night she saw it, and there’s no use in me taking her back to that moment.

      As far as infecting other people by working and such, I brought a (wooden) kitchen chair to work and would even drag it into the conference room, did folks think I’m nutz, maybe, but I was doing it for them. I also talked to researchers and I know how widespread this is, I see the letters (some of them) that pour in on a daily basis. So whatever it is, its so wide spread it’s unblievable. Most researchers say everyone is already exposed to whatever it is, they have to have been because this is everwhere. So, I reasoned if the CDC doesn’t give a damn, and doctors laugh it off, what am I to do, I have to work and make sure my kids have a future, and from then on I stopped worrying about the world, I just worried about my family, it was all I could do.

  3. herehoping said:

    Dear Netmu,

    My experience was summed up in a nutshell on my post “99.9% symptom free of morgellons.”

    Just like MCS and many, many others I could go on and on describing strange things that were happening to me physically, mentally and spiritually.

    “For some, the nightmare is magnified by the deadly fear of infecting others,
    of inflicting the horror they experience on others, merely by their presence.
    Including their children, spouses, other people’s children and spouses, etc.
    Of worse, that they already have that their relative’s morgellon’s symptoms
    are due to that kiss or hug…”

    “What advice can be offered to them?”

    Shortly after i started to get better I was considering a trip to Florida to attend my fathers 70th surprise birthday party. I had purchased an airline ticket for this event months before my morgellons manifestation. After lots of tears and anguish I decided not to go.

    That decision was based on the fear of infecting others.

    The strangest thing happen IN MY ABSCENCE……..My sister-in-law had an attack of stinging and biting, which they attributed to an insect in FL called no-see-ems. The biting and stinging went on for three days and she was the only one being attacked.

    By the time she had returned home she was covered in bites. She went to the ER in her hometown and there they diagnosed her with scabies.

    Now to make a long story even shorter I will only tell you that after one more trip to the ER and another diagnoses of scabies my sister-in-law has made a full recovery.

    The point of this story is this…I DIDNT GO!!!! I DIDNT GO, PRAISE GOD I DID NOT GO!!!

    As much as I thought it was killing me not to participate in this wonderful event in my

    Amazing fathers life, I do believe had I gone it would have been the death of me. 😦

    This was my most poignant experience. Things are not ALWAYS as they seem.

    • Herehoping,
      That is a crazy story! Whoah.
      I have a question, and it’s just a tangent: did they treat her for scabies in the conventional way, or did it just resolve? Apart from the point of your story, this made me think about something else: It seems to me that maybe some people get this and it just passes. I’m wondering if she truly had the basic scabies, or something else?
      While I agree with Mr CS that it’s time to just reclaim our lives, I can’t help thinking sometimes about what this Morg really is, and how it’s going to play out.

      • Susan,
        After being diagnosed at the first ER with scabies and treated with Permithrin (with no relief of the biting, crawling and itching) she returned to a different ER (no insurance) one week later. There she was also diagnosed with scabies again but treated with Eurax lotion.

        I advised her to change her diet, take certain vitamins and supplements and drink only high-grade bottled water.

        After a four-week ordeal she seems to be symptom free.

        Her husband and 2-year-old son both whom sleep in the same bed with her never showed any symptoms. IMO she never had scabies. Also IMO I don’t think an ER doctor or very many “Drs” would recognize a scabie if it walked up and introduced it’s self to them.

  4. sistertocommonsense said:

    Now this is a vey Good and Kind Person who wants to help her Tenant. Not all is lost in the world of Humankindness.

    Dear Aripekangel,
    Hello. I am a property manager, a tenant of mine says that she has Morgellons,; she believes that she contracted this from squirrels that live around the property. Until yesterday, she claimed to have Scabbies, and gave notice to move; saying the infestation was in the home and she couldn’t risk living there anymore.

    Now she reports back saying that her infection is Morgellons and I am trying to educate myself. Although I am sympathetic to the ex-tenant my main concern is about the possible risk to others entering the home I manage. There is conflicting information about this disease/syndrome but nothing really addresses the source of infection or the residence where the infected live.

    Is there any information you can share with me? If the house is infected I want to make sure that there is no future risk to a cleaning crew, Company employees (who have to move out the furniture she left behind) or the next tenant. In the article I read, you mentioned mold as a possible cause; our tenant said she saw bugs crawling in the paint but I don’t know if that could be true. All of this is very disturbing information.

    Also, the ex-tenant is in need of a Doctor (she doesn’t have insurance) in N. California . Do you know of anyone to refer her to in the area?

    The city and Name of the people have been removed to protect the caring innocent.

    Thank you for your future response.

    • Yes, and thank you for posting this. I am really moved that a property owner would go to such links to help a tenant and to try to protect future tenants. My the Lord richly bless this person.

  5. Oh man, haven’t we all been there or many of us are still there in varying degrees! I can’t recall how many days and nights a grown man (me) would just kneel down on the floors and burst into tears uncontrollably, pleading to God to take this away… My family who knows what I’m going through have seen the worst of what I’m going through but that’s still what I allow to show them… No one but me and the man upstairs really knows the depth of this pain, not even the new friends and “family” in the forum I’m active in. I know you all can relate.

    I think the toughest part is isolation. We don’t isolate ourselves b/c we want to (that would be the “hikikomori” syndrome of Japanese teens) but we feel we must protect our friends and family and we’re desperate to not pass this on to them. There would be stretches of time where I didn’t even leave my home for a good week, week and a half; I’d spend all day holed up, suffering, treating the env, myself, and crying. Isn’t Facebook great? At times, that became my only source to stay in touch with my friends.

    It’s not over for me either and it’s tough. I’m a lot better but still battling. I don’t ever forsee myself with this affliction until the day I die (I believe God has a better plan for me) but many times I wonder when I’m ever getting out of this.

    I could go on and on but I think I’ll stop here.

    -k

  6. sistertocommonsense said:

    Kixx,
    Keep your faith hold on to it and know that God is on the side of good, justice and love. You are a good kind person and you will not die with this.
    I have seen many get well and walk away and not look back. I tell many to do this.
    The lessons we learn from this are humility, acceptance of others, looks are just that looks and not what is inside, things don’t matter.
    We need money to live, feed ourselves and being productive is necessary in this world.
    There is a book called the I Ching that I studied for a number of years. In that book is a passage called “Darkening of the Light” where it speaks of Perserverence.
    You are strong and good and you will perservere and you will again find the Light in your life, in the midst of the darkness that this disease seems to bring on to others.
    I have seen this disease steal away minds of good people and that couldn’t put two sentences together.
    I have seen minds come back and the brain fog slowly and gradually begin to go away.
    You don’t appear to be brain fogged and neither does MRC.
    I believe the people who have the serious memory impairment (short term memory effects) are the hardest ones to get through to and the disease has really set into the Neurological System. Usually by this time they have lost their jobs, spent all their monies on Doctors only to be told they are Delusional over and over again.
    Their freinds and family know there is something “not right” and they fear it and then families turn on each other and everyone goes into a state of panic.
    Relationships are strained, Divorces and the things that happen to anyone in life are compounded because these patients have no validation.
    Keep looking to the Light and your faith…do not ever give up on that, because in the end our faith in God is what keeps us going.
    With Love,
    Sister to Common Sense

  7. sistertocommonsense said:

    I spent a weekend with my family just watching Videos, here is one we rented. It talks about the Farming practices and who owns our Meat, Soy and Corn companies.
    It talks about Monsanto and the one of the Major people they interviewed was Michael Pollan who wrote some of the stories, submitted earlier from Time Magazine.
    The whole community should see this film.
    Anyone that doubts that our Food is Frankenfood needs to see this, even my Conservative husband got an eye opener and said, “You have been telling me about this for years and I didn’t understand it until I saw this movie”
    I said, “Well Duh Buddy, You can’t fool mother nature.” Sigh of relief, no wonder agrobacteriums, fungual hyphae, ect are in the bodies of people.
    They have been tinkering around with Agriculture, Crops, Genetically Modified Seeds ect. for the past 50 years. Farmers went on record and were shut down by Monsanto. Cargill is also one of the Beasts along with Smithfield and others.
    Man oh Man….it’s all starting to hit the fan.
    I felt so badly for the Farmers they ruined and took everything they had. A mother went on Camera who lost a son due to bad beef, Gut Wrenching stuff.

    http://www.foodincmovie.com/

    Sister to Common Sense

  8. Wow, I’m blown away by the N Cali property manager!
    You’d expect this person to be totally non-understanding and scoffing.
    This is a breath of fresh air.

    I’ve said from day 1 that I got mine from an infested used car where the ex-owner was a very avid dog rescuer. So I don’t doubt the squirrel part one bit although I am curious how this person came in contact with squirrels. Along with mites, I too thought I had scabies until after trying EVERYTHING that’s supposed to cure scabies and didn’t work, I concluded it wasn’t.

    Let me bring up something to ponder upon – I think one thing that gets lost in the shuffle is that while we can all look at genetic farming, agrobacteria, fungus this and that as the cause, my case in particular didn’t start b/c I ate one too many edamame beans or tofu. I brought in these things from my car, which infested my home, and over the course of a month with me constantly being in my home battling this, my body became infested. I know that my body became more and more infested over time b/c within the first week or so, I’d get the pin-pricks and crawling but I can shower off and go out and be ok. But after a month, that was no longer the case. The symptoms followed me everywhere I went. I started affecting ppl – whenever I’m near others, they start scratching, or digging into their eyes, or sniffling really bad like they just sucked up some pollen (hence supports fungal spores doesn’t it?). Maybe the genetically modified stuff prolong it or make the symptoms worse but in my case, it didn’t *BEGIN* with it. So having said that, what do you think this is? And I know to many ppl, what matters now is no longer what caused it but just on getting better but I can’t let go of trying to figure out the cause, b/c if we truly found out, that gives us hope to combat it.

    Here’s another thing I’d like some feedback on. I wish someone will just steal my car (the car that started it all) so I don’t have to be burdened by it anymore. To drive it with sanity, I have to vacuum the inside thoroughly at least once a week. When I had just vacuumed and maybe for one or two days, I get relatively little activity while driving. But by the week mark, it’s crazy. Then I vacuum again and it sorta “resets”. So what does this mean? I conclude that vacuuming actually sucks up whatever that’s making me have activity, whether they’re mites, spores, or some allergen. It also means that these things are replicating over time and *alive*, if you want to call it that.

    As for what the landlord can do, this is costly but there are 3 good ways to do this with good results from what I’ve learned over the last year.
    1) heat treating (forget it if you have a sprinkler system)
    2) dehumidifier w/ heater on 24/7 for at least a month
    3) tent the house with vikane w/ 10x strength (only if these are real bugs like bird mites)

    Anyway, I think I’ve babbled long enough. And thanks for your kind words of encouragement sistertoCS in your other reply.

  9. Hi Kixx,
    My two cents, qualified by the fact that I’m not you and haven’t experienced what you have experienced! In my case, I seem to have no direct relationship between any items in my environment and when symptoms appear, so I’m really only guessing here.

    The thing about the genetically modified stuff is that maybe it’s in a virus in the bugs, or has altered a fungus which took to you, because you were compromised by poor diet (almost all Americans have a lousy diet, though they are not aware of it) and living in a toxic world. Maybe your dna in your gut has been altered by gmo’s thus making you a more accomodating host to some fungus which doesn’t belong in your gut, or maybe in the beginning, you only had some sort of simple but chemical resistant mites, then the more you treated with chemicals, the weaker you became which made you a very accomodating host to a fungus, and finally mites that like fungus set up shop more permanently. It is my personal belief that the chemicals people treat with in the begining (including all the windex, bleach, ivermectin, etc. that many of us have done)
    make the condition spiral out of control, though I don’t think it explains everything.

    Anyhow, it’s probably very complicated in the real details, and probably varies a lot from person to person, but I think the overall picture is clear: We have screwed with nature big time. Gmo’s, vaccines, processed food, petrochemicals incl. pesticides and plastics–they are all bad for humans/animals and bad for the planet. They are all throwing nature out of balance, and they send our bodies out of balance. I think people forget we are part of nature–we cannot divorce ourselves from it, though we try. So I feel like we are paying a price for gmo’s, even though I will never understand the exact mechanism. The scientists are playing God and they don’t have the first idea what they are messing with really. It’s a complicated mess, this condition and this planet, but the fix is so clear: we need to get in sync with nature. Sounds simplistic, even moronic. And it’s going to take a certain amount of faith to leave off the treating over and over and fix the terrain instead, but it’s gotta be the way to go. My personal feeling is that one can’t be of two minds with this. Either you fight an enemy (invisible bugs, the CDC, whatever) or you take a deep breath and support your mind, body and spirit.

    Anyhow, Netmu posted something the other day that made a lot of sense to me– She/he said something that made it sound like virus/nematodes/bacteria, etc. all get mixed up in lots of crazy ways–this is just modern science. Think about it: gmo’s in the actual corn you might eat, in the bugs they use for pest control, in the cotton you wear, in the dirt at the beach because they used some crazy bacteria to clean up oil spills, and who knows what’s in the vaccines. Who knows, maybe there are viruses that have been genetically modified, and that’s at the bottom of it. I’m just saying don’t be so certain there isn’t a gmo component. I

    What Netmu wrote made me think of chicken pox. You know, once you have it, the virus is always in your body. But it may express itself as shingles later on, and it will be contagious at that point to people who do not already have the virus. Herpes, which is related to chicken pox, is similar. So we’ve all been so desparate to get rid of this thing, and just being asymptomatic didn’t sound good enough, at least to me, I wanted to be cured. But I think the actions we take in our desperation are very harmful. And I think the more sensible and effective course is to accept it on some level, as sure as we accept the chicken pox (–oh wait! We no longer accept the chicken pox, do we? We vaccinate against it–big mistake in my book).

    It seems pretty clear that most people perceive of their problem as being parasitic in nature, but a good way to look at it might be to try to conceive of ways that this is not essentially or first and foremost parasitic in nature. Dr. Amin believes it to be primarily toxicity, with bugs being secondary. Mr. CS has written about formaldehyde and the awful symptoms it can cause. I think he mentioned something about carpet fibers themselves being an irritant. Is this possible in your case? I wouldn’t tell you this is what’s going on with you; I haven’t walked in your shoes. But occassionally I will have a pin prick, and when I look there is truly some little piece of junk from the environment–the skin gets hyper from all the treatments. Believe me though, I do not want to minimize your experience in your car–only you know about that.

    Is there anyway that you can figure out what you need to believe in order to get well, and then just believe it? Because thinking about bugs all the time is so not healing! Anyhow, I too frequently ponder the origins, the nature and the meaning of this condition. My guess is that it is simply a reflection of how we have messed with the world. Sounds pretty vauge and lame, but I’ve rambled long enough, Kixx. I hope you find health and peace, you’ve suffered long enough.

  10. Hi Mr CS,

    Awesome post that will bring hope to those who are in the “dark places”, especially as they learn the “rest of the story” of how you have persevered and overcome. Also, an invaluable peek into the emotional trauma and painful isolation involved with Morgellons for those who are trying to understand and support loved ones who are struggling with this.

    You continue to inspire and amaze me, and I praise God for the power and hope of your testimony.

  11. Mr. CS and John Burgstiner,
    I’m doing both your protocols. I appreciate the info. at the conference about the Grapefruit Seed Extract – Shaking and drinking the foam. I am trying to get my mother through this with these 2 protocols. She is not doing the MMS or Molecular silver from Mels website. But she is doing the rest. Is there anything I can add to her protocol? And, thank you both !

  12. Susan,

    You have very eloquently put it in words. The chicken pox example really hit me since that’s what I’ve been thinking about for sometime now but without a solid analogy like this.

    I think where I’d like to disagree – or remind us all – is that we may get too carried away by focusing too much on the body aspect. Please note, I’m not trying to be the rebel here and everyone here is respectful to one another so I’m just going to share what I think and see how others feel about it. I do think the terrain and the immune system plays a large response – I actually did take the plunge for PMP a few months back and I’m still on it today. I’m doing a lot better (thanks MCS) than before but in my case, it’s hard to attribute to just PMP b/c I’m doing so many other things at once – environmental cleaning, daily sauna, excessive laundry, vacuuming car, leaving home for extended period of time, etc. It’s probably a combination of all of them that keep my condition somewhat stable (bearable). I’d like for us to ponder this – if this was just about the terrain and healing the body, then all the ‘yes’ responses in MCS’ most recent blog about whether morgs is contagious becomes moot. There’s definitely something about the morg sufferer’s body that makes it a threat to others — this is all speculative but maybe the viruses or fungus or superbugs that we always talk about that a morgie carries is so many in numbers compared to the normal person that might carry some just by living day to day in this toxic environment, that it can be passed on to another person when the conditions are right (or wrong).

    Let’s say a person is cured by focusing on the terrain and body. Does it all of the sudden make the environment no longer a threat? If so, why then would someone catch this from sleeping in the same bed where an afflicted mother slept. Sorry, my mind keeps going round and around about this.

    -kixx

  13. I agree with you Kixx, if you cannot correct your environment no matter how healthy your immune system becomes you and your family members are prone to infection. There could be no other reason that pets get m. I find the new nano website interesting but anyone who mentions cedarcide is like a used car salesman to me. There are so many scams out there, not to say that that smelly oily junk doesn’t work for some.
    Guess I made myself clear.
    Enzymes are the key in my estimation, they are what has worked most aggresively in my personal battle.

  14. Kixx, my jury is still out on the importance of the environment. After reading some stuff from the folks at NanoT, I’m really leaning towards thinking there is a threshhold which must be reached for an individual to become reactive. Or an event which activates the condition, though the body may be somehow already primed which is possibly why some people will experience this as highly contagious and some not.

    One thing that I think is significant is our methodology as amateur researchers. Seriously, we all base our conclusions on our own experiences, because there is nothing ese can we do. But surely there are some erroneous assumptions, and then when we try to form a bigger picture of this thing called Morgellons, the bulk of our data is really just bits of incomplete anecdotal evidence from strangers on the internet. I don’t mean to sound cynical and I know we are doing our best without much help from the rest of the world. I am actually pretty hopeful, but our methods are somewhat lacking. I guess I just felt like pointing this out because our experiences differ and we a trying so hard to find an all-encompassing theory, but it seems like maybe several different phenomena are going on–or at least a very multi-faceted phenomenon with many different versions. Efforts to find one answer, or one protocol/cure/solution might miss important information.

    What I would say to Lamb though is that I think that a pet can easily have damaged terrain just as we can. Most pets are on crummy diets, (unless they are on raw meat and so on). Same as for people, not only are processed foods for pets full of bad stuff, but they are lacking in good stuff. Also, how many people do you know who wear flea colors, or have pesticides applied directly to their skin on a monthly basis throughout their lives? Plus it seems the vaccinations which the vets push have now been linked pretty clearly to cancer. So what ever the condition is for developing Morgs, why wouldn’t dogs and cats be vulnerable to it also.

    It seems there are different bugs that bother people with morg–it’s not just one variety. In fact when you read comments on morg sites, it seems that some people consider “morgellons” to be some kind of critters, like it’s a plural noun, while others think of it as something carried by the critter. Sometimes a person gets rid of one bug but gets others, or develops other systemic problems like neurological or heart problems. There will always be bugs out there. I’m wanting to think that if a body could be strong enough, then the bugs won’t get you even if they are there (kind of like what’s-his-name drinking the cholera.) But this is slightly an ethical problem, because what of the other people one would invite in to one’s home? Do they all have to have strong terrain in order to make it out of my home without this scourge? I wish I knew.
    Do you ever just sit there in a group of people and privately think, “man, my life is weird! The people around me have no idea.” Well, I’m glad at least you guys know how weird my life is! It’s good to share this heavy burden with you all at least.
    Peace.

  15. Ebenezer Antwi said:

    My feeling of wiggling and crawling under the skin started in my feet, spreading through my hands, legs, tigh, arms, shoulders and face. I can’t really tell if I’ve sexually passed it on to my wife since she has also started feeling the same way. What is the way out since research on this disease I presume is not conclusive and possibly unaware Ghanaian doctors? Please we need help urgently.

  16. I must agree with both Susan and Kixx! I have just figured out in the last couple weeks that what is “bugging” me is actually M. Before my aha moment, I treated for lice and scabies, just like almost anyone else with this affliction. Now that I have added what I consider to be the most essential of the pmp I am actually able to get some sleep(thanks so much MCS!!!) Now I completely agree with MCS and Susan that if you can get your body healthy enough, your environment will not be a concern to you(note that this only applies to those who have gotten healthy, and does not preclude that someone who is unhealthy will or will not “catch” this from your environment.) But, I must also agree with Kixx, due to the fact that until you have regained a healthy terrain, you are subjected to reinfestation from your environment.

    Due to creating a close to clinical environment in my home, I do not have big issues with reinfesting from it. This must also be attributed to being on a portion of the protocol and not having the amount of activity that I previously encountered. However, I still get “reinfested” from my vehicle, and I have tried the same cleaning techniques that work for my home, but with little help. I have a feeling that I will continue to be reinfested from it until I am completely healthy and my ph level is back up where it should be, it is 6.2 at this time, and it was lower…

    On Christmas eve day I took my vehicle for a drive, after two weeks of sitting, and spraying it with pesticides I thought it would be clear. Boy was I wrong! Once again I had around 40 “bugs” racing all over the top of my skin and “biting” me. So I came home and tried to sleep, this of course just enhanced the awareness. So I slathered coconut oil all over me and went back to bed. Within 10 minutes I could feel where they all were swimming in the coconut oil (they were everywhere, not just one place) so I ran to the shower to try to slide them off in the coconut oil. This worked to rid myself of at least 75% of them! I then took an extra dose of CoQ10, Magnesium, and Probiotics, and went to bed on fresh linens. This worked and I was able to sleep, now I am back to status quo of just feeling them quiver under the skin, especially at the base of hairs. I hope this helps!

    This is my first post here, but I have had a short correspondence with MCS at a forum where I was able to figure out what in the world was eating me. Thanks again MCS, without this site I would still be feeling lost and hopeless as ever!

  17. Dear Nightmares,
    I am so happy you are making progress!
    One idea: When you said you used pesticides in your car, I am wondering exactly what you used. Personally, I am extremely suspicious of the role pesticides play in all this (as well as other synthetic chemicals.) Now, keeping in mind that I’m not in your shoes, I am wondering if the pesticides you sprayed in your car could be a real problem for you? I mean, if you are doing pretty well, then your body encountered these nasty chemicals, could that affect your skin/nervous system such that you have heavy crawling sensations?
    Another thing I’ve been suspicious of for a while: cars themselves are made with pretty lame synthetic materials and off gass a lot. Hmm.
    Keep up the good recovery! And get lots of exercise.

    • Susan, or anyone else on here who might be able to help me:
      I have recently felt itchy, stinging sensations, and like I have little bugs wriggling inside my clothing and on my skin for the last couple of months. I thought it was bed bugs as a result of a bed I purchased used.
      I’m now thinking it might be M. Yesterday, I noticed an open sore on my shoulder out of the blue. I was astonished as there was no cause of it. Until then, I only had tiny little red bites all over my body much of them on my neck but some on my shins and arms, etc. I had thought these were bedbug bites.
      The wriggly feeling has increased lately and washing all my clothes in high heat and drying at high temperature doesn’t seem to be working (I was doing this along with storing my clean clothes in large plastic bags tied with twisty ties – the ziplocs are on order).
      Well, does anyone have any suggestions/thoughts? does this sound like M.?
      If it is, how do you wash/treat clothing? Someone mentioned Borax? (not sure what that is)
      I’m sensitive to chemicals as I used to work with them so spraying with chemicals is out. Should I buy a leather sofa and sleep on that instead? It seems that a few of you on here have found relief in sleeping on leather couches as opposed to beds.
      What else can I do to clean up my environment.
      It definitely seems my clothes are infected somehow and my bed or bed clothes. I bought a mattress and box spring cover when I thought it was bed bugs.
      I also sprayed my house repeatedly with cedar oil (supposedly non-toxic way to rid home of bed bugs) but that began to make me feel ill and I had only some relief of the biting.
      I will go on a super healthy diet to strengthen my immune system and alkalize my body and get healthy.
      I have noticed increased anxiety even anxiety attacks and have broken out sobbing of late and praying to god (unusual for me) when I am in this state.
      It feels like a dark time some of the time and worse in the last day or so.
      However, overall I feel strong (despite having a cold/sore throat for the last week or so that I’m trying to kick).
      Sunday I went for a hike and run on a nearby trail and felt amazing after that.
      Being around others and getting my mind off of fearful thoughts helps a lot but I also have great fear of infecting others with this too.
      Thanks for your help everyone!

  18. Hi Susan, thankyou for the encouragement and I am not discounting anything, but I can tell you that I have used the same pesticides (permethrin) to help get my home under control without the same effect. In fact, if I forget to wash a zippered pillowcase after spraying the perm in the house..my face will break out a bit from the residual perm, but without an increase in crawling sensations. This leads me to believe that the crawls created by my vehicle are from an actual insect (whether it be mites of some kind or collembola) and not from being in the atmosphere of the chemicals.

    I do believe that I was infested with mites, scabies most likely, before the M kicked in. This of course is all supposition since we are dealing with microscopics on all counts, but it makes sense to me. I even had relief for a day and half when I first used ivermectin, and I think this is when the transition happened.

    I fully believe that once I am healthy enough I will be able to use my vehicle without increasing activity on my body, because my terrain will be too strong for them to find me a suitable host. But for now I will try spraying my vehicle with Arm&Hammer and putting garbage bags on the seat.

    I was lucky enough to figure out what I had within 2 months of initial crawls, so hopefully I have caught it early enough to not have to suffer lesions. There are several people posting links to this site on the forum for scabies that I was using for support, so the word is getting out there, and I am posting links to this site also for those who are beginning to exhibit signs of M versus scabies and mites. With any luck, everyone will hear about this site in order to better deal with their own personal nightmares. I consider myself lucky, but my nightmare is not over yet. Best of luck to all who read this and God bless you all, you are in my prayers as well.

  19. Thank you so much for this. I have been battling this for a few months and it started to really get to me. I am just now realizing that this can go very badly if you don’t regain perspective.

    God Bless.

    • Sorry you have this Chris, perspective has a tremendous amount to do with this, trust me on this, the less you focus on it the better, working on healthy things, see the posts in my “All Articles” page in red, they may be beneficial to you. You will make it through this, but there is no magic bullet, it takes some time. Hang in there.

  20. Sorry Gang. Just came back to this thread and I disagree vis a vis healthy terrain and the environment. I believe that they are both important and need to be corrected simultaneously. Non believers who are symptomatic and pets are a double whammy.

    I hope that I can recover without taking my gang down, but without their co-operation it’s a tough go.

    Pets are definitely involved sadly, witness MCS backdrift at Thanksgiving and the pets/former resident pets. Ever notice how this whole disease has taken off simultaneously with the introduction of pet meds like Safeguard/Revolution/Frontline? My dog eats better than I do.
    I am all for the positive attitude but bucking reality is a whole ‘nother planet for me.
    Those of you who seem to be improving do NOT have animals.

    Your environments do not appear to be as compromised. Susan is right about our poisoning the Pets, only we did not do it, Vets and Pharmaceuticals did.

    sorry for the rant, I just know what I see.

    • Lamb, I don’t disagree, my advice is to get rid of pets if you have Morgellons, sounds cruel and I take a lot of heat for that, but pets are not on par with humans, sorry pet lovers, pets do make it hard to recover. However, lamb, the freaking out stage is also terrible for us, getting control of the fear is a large step towards recovery.

      My advice honestly, if you have pets, find new homes for them, I do not have pets, but when I go near them it’s very, very bad news ….

  21. Lamb observed, “Those of you who seem to be improving do NOT have animals.”

    I’ve been non-symptomatic for more than a year & KEPT my animals & birds.

    My family includes 2 dogs (both from rescue organizations a few years ago), an indoor cat & 3 parrots. The dogs were in & out with my husband & me many times a day during the Spring & Summer of 2008 when we were reworking the gardens. Both my husband & I were bitten on the same day outside by what seemed like gnats or no-see-ums at the time. His bites healed normally but mine did not & progressed rapidly to Morgellons.

    Thankfully, our furred & feathered friends have never shown any symptoms. I took to sleeping on a leather couch in the kitchen instead of the bed I’d shared with the dogs. Stopped handling the birds for their protection & set up good HEPA air filter unit between my couch & their daytime cages, though we were only several feet apart from each other.

    The parrots receive a red palm oil they’d have in their native land, which is thought to boost their general health. The dogs get Frontline Plus & Heartgard meds every 6 weeks. Because they are both 3-legged, they also get daily joint health supplements of Synovi G3 softchews with glucosamie, MSM, creatine, omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins E & C, grape seed extract & various minerals. They eat canned food but no dry kibble. Could be that these protected them all with suitable nutrition.

    The dogs were worried about me when I was “buggy”, checking on me often but keeping their distance of a couple feet. Past that active stage, knew I’d turned the corner when the dogs jumped up on the couch with me one day & gave me kisses!

    Our home is surrounded by 40 acres of woodlands & we enjoy our many wild friends & neighbors. Personally believe at least some of the components of Morgellons are widespread environmentally & cannot be avoided. Indeed, have repeatedly encountered some aspects in theaters, restaurants & shops without being affected any more. Petting the neighbors’ dogs & loving up the dogs & cats at my son’s home posed no problems in the past year.

    Modifying my body with detoxing, nutrition, herbals & homeopathics while maintaining an optimistic outlook, cleaning home & laundry with non-toxic products & using ESP Botanicals skin care exclusively – simple remedies really – worked for me. My experience is but one proof it can be done.

  22. I am happy for you that this has all worked out. I have busted butt trying to control my own situation which is complicated at best. I love my girlie dog, she loves me. We share this nightmare and we do the best we can, i.e . that would be my effort.
    Somehow though, my love for my child and husband far exceeds anything in this world and keeping them safe is my biggest priority.
    The dog can go ….
    Whatever.
    Sorry. This subject really pisses me off.

  23. herehoping said:

    I beleive this is a matter of opinion…..I live very closely with 7 dogs (5 are chihuahuas) I have been 99.9% symptom free for almost 4 months. I have made several trips back home to visit family and no one has “caught” this from me!!!!!!! I work for a vet. I am around dogs and cats constantly!!! People PLEASE do not get RID of your pets.
    By the way, sister how is Magic?

    • Sister to Common Sense said:

      We renamed him ‘Marley” after the Movie “Marley and Me” he is a lot of fun, a bit of a handful and very rambunctious.

      I am getting so many phone calls and emails I am not having a very good time of it.
      I keep sending them to this blog and don’t know if they are doing it or not.
      There are not enough minutes in the day to speak to everyone.

      I have found that I have to take time for myself and my family. I recently lost a dear friend, mother of 2 beautiful children which for me was a huge wake up call.

      Life goes on, no matter what, don’t stop taking time to smell the flowers and walk. people who leave me messages think they have it worse than anyone and the messages are endless.

      I am really tired today and have been for the past week.
      Sister to Common Sense

  24. herehoping said:

    That is my opinion

  25. Hi to all,
    Lamb, I feel for you, Hang in there!!! I too am a mother, and I struggled with the pet question. We kept them, and though the dog recently died NOT of morgellons, we are thinking we will actually get another some day. BUT we will raise our pets differently now that we know better.

    To herepoping, I was hoping you’d chime in!

    To Sue, I am delighted to hear of your progress personally, and of your pets’ well-being. You sound like a very sensible person, and your personal approach and understanding sounds similar to mine, so I was double pleased to hear of your symptom-free state! If ever you would care to expand on your methods, particularly diet, approach to environment (how important did you feel it was?), and methods of detoxing, I am sure that others as well as myself would really appreciate it.

    I really liked the sound of Sue’s basically gentle approach listed above. I recently took this thought away from a talk I attended: “Anything which supports the life force helps detox the body.” It’s true: Our bodies are designed to heal continuously. They do this through detoxing, and any good stuff (good food, green juice, prayer, exercise, favorite hobbies) helps our bodies to detox. Bad stuff (pharmaceuticals, pesticides, petrochemicals, sugar, refined food, EMFs, fear) clogs our bodies up.
    Good Night!

  26. Gentle approaches do not cure illness. Getting rid of the “horrors” as they exist in each individual’s life is what matters. None of us know what we have, what we do KNOW is that the infection varies, we are all over the Country, our dogs and cats respond differently.
    I am really happy about every one who is feeling better or recovered. God Bless you all.

    If I can keep my family relatively safe (my boys are now symptomatic but in denial)
    I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PROTECT THEM.

    I am doing some alternative stuff to keep us marginally intact which I am reluctant to discuss right now.

    A dog is a dog, a human being is an enormous life with tremendous potential and life procreation capability. Maximum 20 years for a domestic pet v. a lifetime of love and happiness for a human being.

    Please.

    I am done , we will never agree.

    Family trumps all.

    Good night all.

    • Lamb, I’m with you on this, but please folks let’s not argue or part over such an issue, it’s a very personal thing. As we know everyone has to find thier own path through this mess. I have kids too Lamb and believe me, that debate would have lasted 20 seconds had I had pets, they would be finding a new home. Pet owners, I mean no offense, but the Good Lord made us all different.

      I spoke to someone on Skype today about this very issue who is a pet lover, and we disagree’d on the issue but still are one in fighting this thing. Just as I don’t agree with everything researchers say on Morgellons but still listen very intently to what they have to say and have learned much from them. This is one place where I want every one to get along and have compassion for those who choose different paths than we do. God knows we have so few safe places to turn to.

      Finally, Lamb, if I’m putting words in your mouth forgive me, I don’t mean to. For at least two years the most hurtful thing for me to hear on Morgellons forums (when I was really sick) was to hear of others getting well, it hurts, it hurts damn bad, we so desperately want to be free of this, oh God how I know that longing, it’s all consuming. Lamb, if I could take on your Morgellons so that you could be free of it I would, I really would.

      I think there are a few on here that might even be more free of this than I am, I have residual issues, I think there are some that are “really free” and believe it or not I still feel jealously rise up within me when I hear of it. But then I just let it go.

      And you left out something lamb, it’s not just a lifetime, it’s legacy, the family line, grandchildren, and impacting folks that will live 100 years from now. I see traights of my Grandmother in me, and I’m sure my great grandmother as well.

      God bless everyone, remember to pray for those in great need. God bless.

  27. I merely mean that I am done discussing the issue MCS. I appreciate your very heartfelt and kind words. I have difficulty grappling with the thought of equating human life to that of my dog, just doesn’t cut the mustard with me . Having said that I will just agree to disagree and leave it at that.. You are a very special and extraordinary human being MCS and this forum is a haven for all of us, sick and well. It gives me hope to know that others are well. I worry so about my family, if you sense desperation emanating from me, that is the root of all. I don’t care about me anymore but I am resolute in my wish to keep them healthy.
    God Bless us all, Pray,pray,pray!

    • I realize that no one has been on this post for over a year, but I wanted to put in my two cents worth on the pet idea. I have had pets all my life. Not just dogs and cats, but horses, birds, an iguana, hamsters, and ferrets. Now, if I GOT this from any of the many animals that have shared my life over the years, I really hate that, but I don’t believe it to be so. I believe in the multi-cause theory. Poor immune system, poor diet, GMO’s, parasites, chemicals in general, vaccines, chemtrails….they’re probably ALL involved to one degree or another.
      But to give away my pets would take a very important part of my life and who I am away from me. Here’s the thing…my Pug has M. Who would I give him to? If it’s contagious, which seems to be another debatable topic, how could I pass him on to someone else? I care for him as best I can. He eats well, I clean his eyes and ears, and I give him coconut oil and honey for his cough. Never again will I put Frontline or any other chemical on my dogs. It’s killing fleas, supposedly, although it didn’t work at all this past summer, so what is it doing to the animals you put it on??
      No, I’ll keep Patrick, and he and I will suffer through this together. And, by the way, my other three dogs display NO signs of having M.

      • I am with you Marsha. Little Missy is still here by my side and I would not hurt her for the world! We Go down…. we are going together! I agree about the Frontline… never again! We are doing a vet related flea collar and I keep her pH up with ten drops of Willard Water every water change. She is well now , a few fungal issues with ears here and there But nothing like before. She gets a small dose of Pathogenex like Judith described and it has been a great boon for her. Best wishes with Patrick, Coconut oil is good inside the ears on a q tip as it is antifungal but gave us the runs in food! She also gets a kid s probiotic everyday and filtered water. A few drops of organic olive oil in her kibble ( no commercial stuff!) Ours is Ultra ZD, this girl is allergic to EVERYTHING!!

        I know how you feel, and I could not abandon my girl either!
        PS. My son is doing great now (17) migraines gone, colds gone etc. MIssed one day of school this year, vacation. Give it to everyone you know, just don’t tell them! Skip the ZD, he’s not a “kibble” guy! LOL just jokin’. Coconut oil is the bomb… that and a super healthy pro biotic diet!

        Best.

        • Thanks for responding to my last post, lamb. I’m glad to hear that someone else puts their pet’s welfare as high as I do! My children are all grown, but I do worry about my grandkids. However, as I mentioned in the post that you responded to, I believe people are going to get this…if they’re going to get this…regardless if I have a dog in my house or not. It’s everywhere. I moved from an old house with obvious mold, where I had also suffered many tick bites and lost my horse to West Nile Virus, to a different house, and I’ve found fibers and metal looking bits in the dust that I sweep down from the ceiling!
          I’m glad your son is doing better! I agree, it’s best not to feed him the kibble! LOL
          Patrick caught on real fast that he felt much better after having his organic coconut oil and honey mixture! No problem giving it to him!
          Now if my family only believed I actually have a serious problem……

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