I know I said I wasn’t going to blog until April 12th but had to make this one last post. I have been dealing with terrible inflammation and debilitating anxiety to the point where it’s going to claim my life. Finally I’ve said enough and started running again. There’s a point where like animal backed into a corner it’s time to fight. So, with pain in my jaw, arms, neck, and all the classic signs of a heart attack / stroke I took off running, better to die on my feet than live this hell I’m wrought up in. I’ve had all the tests, the doctors say my heart is fine, so what the hell, it’s time to confirm their diagnosis. I will break this or it will claim me, but either way this ends here and now.

I’ve done one run today and will do another later. This song says it all, and if you listen to the crowd (I’ve never heard anything like it, wait until you hear the chorus) you’ll know it’s struck a cord with more than just me and the guitarist is playing with his thumb sliced open bleeding all over the place, they are walking the walk and it’s time for me to do the same. 

It’s my life it’s now or never, I ain’t going to live forever, I just want to live while I’m alive …

See you on the 12th … that is, unless I lose. I posted my segment on the “Pirate and the Mermaid” as well.


Comments on: "It’s My Life and It’s Now or Never" (30)

  1. Joe Keleher said:

    You’re in my thoughts and prayers my friend. Peace, Joe

    p.s. The Morgellon’s community needs a top ten list of healing tunes!

  2. zara cybele said:

    Have you seen an acupuncturist?
    Chinese medicine is so totally different than Western. Sometimes the symptoms we think of as typical for something like a heart attack, can mean something completely opposite in Chinese Medicine.

    I thought I was having a heart attack last year and went for the typical echocardiagram, stress test…etc.
    My acupuncturist felt my pulses and said, “No, not a heart attack.”
    What I was having was completely unrelated to heart issues.
    Three visits over three weeks and I straightened out. She also gave me herbs to set me right.

    So please consider finding a good practitioner in your area.

    Oh, and please don’t die. It would be a total waste of your time.

  3. I’ve been getting a lot out of your site, sorry to
    hear of your setback.

    I’d like to tell you of a cream I make for my son and
    myself for our scabies/whateveritis. Very simple. I heat epsom salts in water on the stovetop and mix it into
    coconut oil to make a cream. I leave it on 24/7. It is absorbed into the body through the skin, is healing on many levels and of course the magnesium helps with
    stress levels.

    We’re also using raw organic apple cider vinegar which also has great healing properties. Just now I drank
    3 tblsp. in water. Yes, very sour, but effective!

    Healing Blessings, and please feel free to email me if you like.

  4. sherry Taylor said:

    I’m having a bad outbreak too…My heart goes out to you. I’ve told many people about the british article.
    thank you so much for all your contibutions..even if I wasn’t able to understand the technical language in the beginning..you found me and simplified things with video.
    And i love the music which I had forgotten all about in my “cleaning frenzie”.
    I sure am glad you are out there. You are acknowledged in the “Wisconsin” peoples book too.
    Most Sincerely, Sherry Taylor BC Canada

  5. It’s great that you’re confronting the fear head-on. God bless you.

  6. I’m sorry you’re having a tough time of it. There is not too much I can advise you to do as you are more the expert than I. I thought I was going to die in January. I had hot sweats, adrenal hyperactivity and shear terror. I got all my paper work in order. The only reason I didn’t go to the hospital was because I knew they would not know what to do and maybe screw me up further. Then, at the time, I was advised to take DHEA one a day and Lecithin 2400 mg 3-4 times a day. It was advised by someone I really respected, so, in addition to the immense protocol I was on, I added this and it definitely helped. It took a number of weeks but helped me get over the insanity.

    • Mr. Common Sense said:

      Robin, were you having issues similiar to mine, I wonder if it would help. I just took my blood pressure, 123/70 pulse 58 (which is great). I am thin, don’t smoke, my wife cooks real food, no diabetes, I don’t fit the profile of a person with heart issues, of course, then I’ve had all the tests, too many to number regarding the heart, all fine. It seems so physical and not stress releated, like hormones, adrenal, thyroid or something raging totally out of control. I do feel much better after a run though and it last for hours, like I’m burning up extra adrenalin, it’s the darndest thing I tell you, totally mimicks a heart attack or stroke.

      • Yes, I was healthy too. Heartrate, B/P, thyroid; fine. I don’t know if this will mean anything but I found something that said “it is chemicals coming off the limbic system.” That’s as detailed as that gets. My hormones were also raging out of control. Not stress related (so I believe.) I even took some of my mothers heart pills at the time…we do do crazy things when we get in the trench 😉 It will get better. Running is good or >^..^< on a treadmill…

      • Mr. Connon Sense. My prayers go with you where ever you go for you have been a guiding light and a place to go to find comfort and information. Hope the break from things give you a new surge in energy to continue the fight to get well for we are all rooting for you because you have been such an inspiration to us all. We would be lost without you as our guiding light!! You have given so much to the morgellons community along with others that you have sought out.
        . Lynn

      • Sister to Common Sense said:

        I have seen people as they get well (IMHO) begin to get panicked. I have so many with Thyroid problems but releasing adrenalin with exercise is so healing for you especially as a lean male, have you got one of those places where you live that has indoor rock climbing with ropes of course???? That is fun but I prefer rollercoasters to the ferris wheel. My explorer personality.
        At times when we are being hard on ourselves and really trying to detox, many metals can cause the symptoms of a heart attack, joint pain, jumbled thinking, ect.

        JFK had Addisons Disease, I can just imagine how he felt.His endocrine system was a mess.

        I have a great deal of respect for detox but it does affect the seratonin and dopamine in the brain and then the endocrine and adrenals (when stressed) kick in and make us feel like we would like to take our skin off and run away from the anxiety.

        Somethimes we just have to get out of our space and enjoy the great outdoors. Interact with the life outside of our boxes. Buildings, homes ect.
        Man you are a good Guy MRC. now get to the beach and let it all go. We all need to do that from one time or another. I will always love you, you have been a very good friend to me (that whaco who just screams a lot, about this to docs and scientists) and you have taught me to watch my words and make sure that those words follow with good deeds. If I were to die tomorrow I would die happy because I am watching people get well and I always said, “When I die and leave this earth, may I have made an impact on just one person.
        So it is one feeling at a time, one moment at a time, one minute, hour and day.
        “Life is not a destination, it is a journey.” and how lucky we are, every day to journey if it is only in our minds, short walks or runs.
        Get outa Dodge Bucko, you need it. It’s time to take care of MRC. Run, Laugh, Frolic in the water and remember we only have this moment right now…because life changes from moment to moment.
        You will never know how many you have helped now nurture you.
        I Love You my Friend,
        Sister to Common Sense

      • Back in May 09 (before I knew about morgs) I had heart palpitations so bad I went to the doc and they did ECG and put me on a Holter 24hr monitor. They found everything normal???? I also had extreme anxiety and panic attacks. Could we all have some common genetic or personality traits? It comes and goes and I seem to be OK. I think it could be the morgs playing your nerves like a fiddle or could be EMI related. Anyways if you can run, great do it, no worries.

        • It’s morg related. I “caught” this last April and was in the ER last May with heart problems – which I did not really have. Waste of time and money. I am healthy and work out at least 3 times a week. It’s the thing inside – playing the nerves, and, hormones like a fiddle as you say.

  7. Sister to Common Sense said:

    There was a Lanmark Case announce earlier. I have just retained the services for a Morgellons ie NCS patients of the Lawfirm of Crowe, Parodis in Mass, they have offices all over the US.
    If you have been Disabled by the Cruel Disease, have had no work, been out of work for at least one year and paid into the system you have a right to compensation for SSDI.
    We now have an incredible intake person with them her name is:
    Yelinda Phone 8772611947 ext 6927
    Advice: they do not want chemtrail propoents, 9-11 nano proponents or conspiracy theories or she will jump ship.
    Keep it calm, get your records together, photos if any and treatment by your Doctors.They want it to be scientific not conspiratorial.

    If people call and go whaco with here she will hang up or walk, state your case and answer her questions honestly but depopulation verbage she will tell me who it was and i will come after you with every cell in my body.

    This is a great chance at vindication and verification, please do not blow it for us all

    We hit the CDC and the other warring factions with our win and the monies to be paid out, then maybe, the powers that be will come forth with real evidence. I am not making a dime for referrals,and I will review charts with them to form timelines. I think this is my calling as these lawyers are good people and care, (oxymoron) Have patients with the intake person she got slammed today, poor lady, I need to send her a bottle of booze and bath salts to help her relax after all the pbone calls she is going to get.

    They take only 4000.00 off the top of your award and work their perverbal asses off for this. John Weil our attorney is learning more about Morgellons than he wants to know. LOL but he is a very brave man. I will work with them all the way if needed for justice for all sufferers.

    Those of you that know me, know that I am a bit of a pitbull and don’t back down on the BS…so this is awesome news and thank you Jelinda and John Weil of Crowe, Parodis, Abhrens.

    Thank God after all the law firms I contacted they came through for us. I hope they get justice for us and make a mint for the work.

    A couple of years of SSDI will help you get better then you can get a job, if you are not permanently disabled

    Yelinda, will guide the phone call and for Goodness sake, do not tell her of everything that is coming out of you skin. Every darned speck, dot, fiber, bug…
    You have to muster up all the courage you have to get your records, photos and documentation, A true disability is for you and your lawyerto prove and put in your record. Please Get your records and data together.
    Remember if you have been unable to work for say, 3 years and win you will, probably get back SSDI, from the time you were disabled, due to the outcome of your case.
    John Weil our attorney had every disk, letter ect that we had and I am my State Representatives write to the CDC, by bugging them relentlessly.
    HaH, KEEP BUGGING (your state representatives) no pun intended.
    Sister to Common Sense
    PS thanks to all who have emailed me and thanked me for some help. This is what unification is about.

    • Bless you for all your many efforts to help all those who have been stuck by this horrific disease. You are an angel to many and give us all hope and the world is a better place with people like you. Thank you for being so generous with your time and efforts.

  8. Hang in there Mr CS, you are an inspiration to me.
    Please stay strong. Imagine yourself like a tree, strengthen your roots, stand tall, let the light from heaven shine on you. My prayers are with you.

    I recently recieved email from Healing GrapeVine saying that 151 people have recovered with help from Dr. Staninger by detoxing.

    Have you seen this link regarding a simplified protocol from Dr. Staninger’s ideas?

    A more affordable start towards recovering using Dr. S’s protocol:
    MPS PAD $380 with shipping included
    Opaline Oxygen caps (Breaks up Morg silicone, etc.) $59.95 for large bottle, Start out with small amout and build up slowly because of rapid toxin release
    Willard Water (helps lymphatic system to drain out Morg) Search – willard – iHerb.com water


    Has anyone here had success with Staninger’s detox ideas?

    • Jade,
      Yes, using the infrared pad and the oxy (5 caps at night) along with coconut oil, Kangen water (PH 9.5) and Mr CS protocol. Jason sulfur shampoo and coal tar soap. No corn or soy. No sugar or MSG.

    • Yes, I’m doing it. So far so good. I feel the best I have in 10 months using the opaline, willards – I do the choc mool, did the colon cleanse, got the pad (love it) also take inositol and l-argenine to help remove the supposed ammonia buildup. Antivirals – as Staninger has found viruses – are elderberry and olive leaf. Of course I’m doing Mr. CS nutritionals and I take LOGOS.

  9. Sister to Common Sense said:

    That is somewhat expensive. Do you have lesions and matter coming out of your skin???
    Sister to Common Sense

  10. Staninger says no form of soy what-so-ever. It has all been GMO’d. Almost all soy is modified. They can only find 10% of the seeds that are not GMO. I saw the movie Food, Inc. Scary stuff. Watch it if you haven’t.

  11. Staininger is not my guru. I’ve got my own
    protocol! 😉 Yes it is possible to find organic
    miso. This is the brand I get from the natural
    stuffs store:

    I know all about the GMO’s etc. I work in the field
    of natural health. It’s good to know about this, but
    not good to fret about it IMO.

  12. By the way, I certainly mean no disrespect to Dr.
    Staninger, I know she’s done great work with Morgellons.

    But I actually think miso could be a great food for
    those with these kinds of conditions. For one thing,
    I suspect that EMF sensitivity could be part of the picture–and miso is one of the foods that is protective against EMF’s.

    See the description of ES (Electrical Sensitivity)
    at this page and see the similarities to Morgellons,
    down to the rash: http://www.sharecareprayer.org/subpages/environ/electrical.html

    They also mention the protective benefits of miso and
    other fermented foods, for ES. I do spend more time online than is good for me (working on that), and I sure have been drawn
    to eat a lot of miso lately. I just had a miso/tahini
    spread on rye bread topped with fresh sliced tomato
    with a side of garlic cloves (I just chomp them along with the food). Yum!

  13. MCS—
    Just want to throw out some love to you–this sounds very scary.

    For what it”s worth, I have periodic episodes with shortness of breath, tightness of chest, sometimes numbness. My alternative doc feels it is related to Lyme, which I’m also being treated for.

    Take good care–you are in my thoughts and prayers,

  14. Bug_Sleuth said:

    Mr.CS, I just want you to know that there are people who read your blog that don’t comment much, like me. I have realized in the past few months that Morgellons is what I have been suffering with for a number of years. I have read EVERYTHING on your blog and it helps to see that there are others trying to cope. Your speaking of your mind in whichever direction is goes is always concise and well spoken. I know that one other new Morgellons suffer has been helped by your protocol. I would like to say “thank you”. I think that your frame of mind is where I have been the last week and totally understand. The question of quality over longevity comes up often in my thoughts. I would like to give you encouragement to fight on but am having the same do or die conflict. Whatever the outcome, just know that there are others that have been touched, encouraged by your efforts. I will keep my fingers crossed for you and for everyone else with this affliction. Thank you and take care.

  15. Joe Keleher said:

    I had five terrifying visits to the emergency room; My heart would race for hours and I had difficulty breathing. I think it was similar to this. Doctors would test my heart and tell me everything was normal. At the onset of these “spells” I knew they were coming (after the first) as my mind would somehow become kinda blank (that’s the best way to describe it). In fact, the first spell I had I was at work and kept repeating “I can’t think straight” to my boss until she called an ambulance. Each time there was something odd with my blood sugar levels (but not diabetes).

    If you’ve read any of my related writing, you know what I think this connects to in part or in whole. I’ve since moved from the Four Corners and associated toxins from the power plants (these include mercury) and haven’t had any spells. Hopefully, no more will come my way!

  16. Hopefull said:

    MCS, have you ever been tested for Lyme disease or co-infections through Igenex or other labs. Maybe you should try testing for those. I’ve got the crawling/stinging sensations and now got dx with Lyme disease.

  17. You have given so much to all of us. Take the time to take care of yourself. I applaud you for facing your fears head on in order to live your life to the fullest. It’s very hard not to let the fear take over. You are in my prayers.

  18. I hope you are feeling better, MCS. I keep thinking about you.


  19. “If you’ve read any of my related writing, you know what I think this connects to in part or in whole. I’ve since moved from the Four Corners and associated toxins from the power plants (these include mercury) and haven’t had any spells. Hopefully, no more will come my way!” – What is it that it connects to?

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