Discovery – Many start of thinking what they have is lice, scabies, bird mites, or bed bugs and after a few times poisoning themselves with conventional treatments they begin to realize that there is something more hideous at work in their lives. This phase takes some time, maybe months and months before it dawns on them that what they have defies any conventional medical description. What is happening to them is not normal and they realize it. However, many are convinced that they have bird mites or whatever, confused by the conventional (and outdated) definitions of Morgellons. They say to themselves, I don’t have lesions or fibers so I can’t have Morgellons? So they spend their time chasing rabbits not knowing that as many with Morgellons don’t have lesions as do, and that the fibers can often only be seen with a scope. Or they might say, Morgellons is only in California, Texas, or Florida. All of these assumptions are wrong, but they continue to appear in new articles that say nothing new but repeat old outdated information further confusing the public. Strangely, some people itch terribly while others feel the massive crawling and don’t really itch at all. I think those that itch are more apt to have lesions as some kind of histamine or immune system attack is raging within them.
Horror – This is probably the most dangerous and heart wrenching phase of Morgellons. The moment they realize they have this horrible affliction called Morgellons is extremely frightening. I still remember the exact moment that I realized what I had was truly Morgellons. I sat in my car outside a Radio Shack having just purchased a pocket scope, said a prayer, and then looked at my arms only to see red and blue fibers everywhere. And they were deep under my skin. People can spend years in the "Horror" phase and some never make it out. This is the period where very scary thoughts run through a persons mind such as "Am I being eaten alive by worms", "Will I go blind?", "Surely I am going to die from this" and so on. While in this phase a person is likely to try all kinds of risky and downright dangerous self treatments. I know I did more than my share. Finally, during this period a person can rip their family apart and alienate themselves from all of of their loved ones. They are terrified and alone, this is one disease that you suffer alone, it’s almost defined by loneliness.
Searching for the Cause – This is the period when a person goes out and starts researching and hypothesizing on what the cause might be. Probably at one point or another a person will entertain all kinds of ideas that later they will look back on and consider ridiculous. However, at least the person is now taking action and while they might still be "horrified" they are determined to find a cause and by that they think a cure, if not from doctors then on their own. This is when many become addicted to the forums and begin reading all kinds of technical medical literature and so forth, much of it scary. While they might not be frozen by horror they are still a long way from being on the right path. This is also another phase from which many do not escape.
Rejection – I think this part is the key to either living with Morgellons or "free of" Morgellons. When a person rejects the horror and stops incessantly researching the cause and begins to reject thoughts that come into their mind about parasites and all the terrible things Morgellons could be they are on the path towards healing. I was there, believe me, and was still doing so when I started this blog. The moment they say to themselves "This is not real" (even though they know it is) they begin to feel better. Of course, I am not saying Morgellons is all in ones mind, but the mind is a powerful thing. There was a point in my life when I was crawling like mad and said to myself, it’s not worms, it can’t be. I reasoned this because of all the dewormers I had taken, that the large geographic area affected made it impractical, and it simply didn’t add up. No, something else was at work. This person, if they make it this far begins to live their life again even though they can’t explain what is happening inside them. But they know enough to know better than to fall for all of the theories. Sure, we all entertain them for a bit even now, but reason calls us back because in our hearts we know they aren’t true. So, we do the only thing we can do, we go about providing our body with the things it needs, the common, everyday, safe things that we know we have neglected and in fact just cannot get any more in today’s world from our diet. These include supplements, sunshine, laughter, exercise, God, and relationships too. And as I have been trying to get across, we take breaks, sometimes for weeks, and take nothing at all but good food.
You’re experience might be different, you might disagree with my assessment above, feel free to voice your opinion. You notice I didn’t mention acceptance, I never considered that as an option, maybe the “Rejection” category could be called that, but it never felt like that for me, I was never going to accept Morgellons.