Lack of Words …

I’ve been at a loss for words of late. I’m still free of Morgellons and practically taking nothing at all, not even NAC. I want to write new content for you but I don’t know what to say? I’m saddened and feel like in part I have failed. My hope was that I would find a way out of this mess but not just for me but everyone, that was always my goal. It’s painfully obvious to me this is not the case. I thought surely I was being set free for a specific and concrete reason and always hoped it was to reveal to everyone how to walk away from this mess. I’ll be honest, it’s not really fair what has happened. There are more deserving people who post on this blog and certainly those who walk more closely with the Lord than I.

I often wonder what went wrong, what did I fail to record in my protocol? Did anyone really try the True Protein? or was it this, or maybe that? Was it living out of single laundry basket? Was it those two years on the leather couch or was the battle ultimately won in my mind. What was it? It’s very frustrating to think readers of this blog are not also finding their way back to good health.

Hope is important and I know this blog offers that, but when I was sick I wanted to be healed and I’m sure you do too, and in the most desperate way. I feel like my body could take your Morgellons and kill it if it was poured into me, I really do. I wish this were possible. I know the hand of God was upon me or I would have never made it. I’m kind of bewildered and wonder, what do I do now?

Tell me what I can do for you that can help you. What type of posts do you enjoy?

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Comments on: "Lack of Words …" (16)

  1. Hi Mr C
    This was just perfect! The only problem is that you have survivors remorse or something like that. Looking at someone who has made it through Morgellons and has come out victorious on the other side gives us all hope. The degree to which we work to change our body terrain back to a healthy one is when we will see results. You from all I have read valiently tried and found what worked for you. You can’t save everyone but you can be and are a shining example!!You also were kind enough to take the time to share what you learned with us. Thanks who could ask for anything more! Kathy

  2. It is beautiful that you care so much, please don’t be sad, I am so glad that you have recovered from this nightmare. If one person can do it, then we all can do it! You are a wonderful source of hope. I live with pain and brain fog most days, your site has inspired me to keep trying. I started taking MSM a couple of weeks ago and it has helped some of the head pain I have which is a blessing. Am I developing Osteoarthritis or this is what happens long-term with this condition?

    Why is everyone not recovering? There are many reasons, perhaps we don’t all have the same disease, we have different genetics, some of us have other illnessess also (gluten intolerance, parasites, fungus, Lyme?, TMJ etc.). I am not following all of your protocol, it is often hard to think clearly. I am still eating meat (is this a problem since many animals are fed corn and alot of corn is now GMO’d?)
    Or is this God’s way of saying we shouldn’t eat animals?
    I have had this over 7 years now. I am using a Brita water filter. Is this good enough? Am I getting reinfected from my environment or other family members? There are so many questions. Until we know what the source of this infection is, it is a challenge to fight it.

    I am trying to decide if I should go see a Lyme specialist nearby in the US (who has only read about Morgellons) since I also have many Lyme symptoms or Dr. Staninger who is much further away. Any advice on this decision would be appreciated.

    You are a wonderful light, your encouragement and news and music helps us. Learning about what helps others is useful. Not feeling alone with this is very helpful. I believe in the power of prayer, pray for us when you can. Thanks so much, Jade.

  3. Dear Mr. CS,
    You may never know how much your words have blessed me and others. To know you have recovered is such an inspiration to me, what a joy to know it is possible. Before your blog, I felt it was way beyond my budget and capacity to get better. I was bewildered. You have shown us a path to health, though each path may be different. You encourage me to keep trying.
    God bless you for ever!!!!
    I must admit your blog is the first thing I check in the morning so I want to encourage you to keep it rolling along.

    Cat

  4. Please don’t feel discouraged that we are not all symptom free. There are many possiblilites as to why this is so. I, myself, feel that if I had not found your site I would still be in the condition I was 18 months ago, in constant pain from biting/stinging, with horrible crawling sensations, scared to death, almost paralyzed by the fear of what I had and how I could infect others, and with the desperate feeling of having no where to turn. By following your advise and researching avenues you presented I am in such a better place. The crawling has gone, the biting/stinging is only occasional, and the white specks that were constantly on my abdomen for the last 3 months are gone. But most importantly, I feel like I can live my life again. I’m working, going about my daily activities and enjoying my family without the constant fear I used to have. I occasionally wonder if I will ever be free of this, but those thoughts don’t consume me like they did before. I think as a result of this journey I am healthier and more educated about the food I eat and the products I use. Hopefully my new found knowledge will help other people I know see how important their terrain is and will take the steps I have to become healthier. Just a final note, I have done everything listed in your protocols except the True Protein which I just ordered and can’t wait to start. (Money is always an issue). Thank you so much for continuing this site even after you no longer have symptoms. You are truly a kind, caring and generous person.

  5. vicki ward said:

    I want to echo many of the sentiments expressed above. Your amazing generosity of time and energy displayed in your many posts, and your sharing the protocols you have used, are gifts that are priceless. You are supplying courage and hope to so many people. I check this site daily as well. I think that it continues to serve a great and useful purpose, and I hope you keep it going. We who frequent it need to take more responsibility in writing in. I have been, and will continue to, encourage those I know with Morgellons to communicate on this site. I have used many of your product recommendations and, combined with Dr. Staninger and Dr. Kolb’s help, am close to totally well. I will try to recount all my eight to nine years of effort to get well. I agree that God’s grace is a huge part, which includes specific guidances all along the way. Your site has been an important one. Please keep it going. Thanks, Vicki

  6. You are a trail blazer. You gave us hope. Thank you.

  7. It would be easy for you to “move On” since your “recovery”. I am so thankful that you have not done so. I too have gotten better and I attribute this to the info gained from you as well as the M sanctum site. I am at present experiencing somewhat of a relaspe, but still have hope thanks to you and my faith in Jesus. My experience has been a lonely one, with many times when I just could not think of continuing life this way. I share a home with someone in Atlanta but not a life, in a city with millions of people around me yet I have no one to go to except on this computer to be the “now” me. Life is different.. but I feel as if you are my close friend, the friend I don’t need to pretend with because you have experienced this horror first hand. Write anything you like, its good knowing you are still here with me.

  8. You are a precious soul aren’t you?
    That is why you have been given what you have.
    Not that Gods grace is earned.
    God decides who is lifted up or not.
    He asks that we do not covet what others have and that would include wellness.
    God asks that no matter what state we are in to be content and we rejoice in the most perfect gift of all ‘His son Jesus Christ and the blessed gift He has given us of forgiveness of sin and eternal life.
    Keeping this in perspective, you are simply a man, it is God by His beautiful Holy Spirit who decides. We need to believe first that HIS spirit is indeed BEAUTIFUL…sit in the presence of God and bathe in Him, and see His spirit is enough.
    Does it make God a sadist to decide one gets well and one does not ?
    No. He is perfect in Love Perfect in intent,and always has a beautiful plan and future in mind for us.
    Well or not – His spirit sustains us and we are a part of His perfect plan continually moving forward, well-or not.
    I have had people walk right past me because I am still not well and ‘partner with some ‘claiming’ to be well as the claimant presented a confusing plan –which eventually could hurt people .The posturing more important than others feelings or others welfare.
    It is your gentle heart that God sees.
    It is your well thought out and natural approach which has been freely given and a benefit to many.
    It is my hope that someday we will all be able to be off all prescriptions and only on natural supplements to support our body terrain.
    While some are not well they are more stable and enjoying better days because of your gift which was freely given with the welfare of others put first over your own position.
    We rejoice when 1 single person gets well from Morgellons,but when a ‘Leader’ with Gods heart gets well,one who will shepherd not for self gain, those too weak to help themselves instead of telling them to quit whimpering..we stand up and take notice.

    No worries,we have witnessed a true miracle in a group of people who did not take NO or unknown for an answer.
    Our community has driven medicine and become such true health advocates -I think perhaps they are changing the way medicine respects the weakest and the poorest.

    Bless you
    Pamela mae
    I rejoice with you my brother.

  9. Oh Mr. Commonsense, where to begin? I resonate so much with what Sandy wrote. I have my life back. I will admit that my suffering was short compared to others (just 3 weeks from the time symptoms began until I figured out it was Morgellon’s and was blessed to be guided to your blog, and it’s been a little over one month since then). We each have our own path to walk and I definitely suffered during those 3 weeks and after, as many have. Am I too feel guilty because my suffering lasted only weeks instead of months or years? My heart goes out to all and I believe part of our purpose on earth is to pray for and serve each other in whatever capacity calls to us, but ultimately we all walk our own path and only God in God’s infinite wisdom knows why the weight of the crosses we bear vary.

    There are no words to describe how much your blog has meant to me. It gave me hope and guidance and clear, simple action steps to tackle this thing. I have been doing most of the PMPII, I am also taking some of the Logos Nutritional products (I just finished the 7 day cleanse for starters, yahoo!) and also am using ESP Botanicals and Dr. Bonner’s. My skin is healing, I have minimal itching and crawling feelings, but still some. My mind is clearer and my energy is better as a result of cleaning up my diet, but I still definitely battle with my cravings for sugar. I know I have candida overgrowth and have been working diligently to beat it but have come to understand it takes time, at least months.

    Long story short, your blog gave me the tools to change my life for the better and to begin the process of getting Morgellons under control. I am now eating healthier and taking better care of myself than I ever have. Not that it matters so much, but I dropped 10 pounds in one month and it feels great.

    It is also hard to quantify how meaningful and comforting it is to hear others’ stories and know that we are not alone with these unusual symptoms, ones that are not easily discussed in most circles.

    If this blog were to stand as is with no further additions, I believe it would still serve as a monumental help to Morgellon’s sufferers. So Thank You and God Bless You.

  10. Belinda said:

    Well….one thing that you have done, that you must not overlook!! is that you have gone to great lengths to try and outline what you did that led to your getting well. This was beyond generous and truly altruistic.
    You say “what went wrong, what did I fail to record in my protocol?”…… perhaps nothing. Perhaps it was more to do with the timing of your supplements and lifestyle changes in relation to the stage of your illness, than anything else. Perhaps it was some minor factor, like having another person in your home helping with the cleaning and food preparation which contributed to your risk of re-infection being less than other people.

    I am going to digress for a moment and come back to this train of comments….
    As you know from my past comments, I believe that my “morgellons’ is caused by an unidentified parasite, specifically, an unidentified strongyloide -as diagnosed by my Lyme doc. Once, you commented that if we were all suffering from disseminated strongyloidiasis we wouldn’t be around very long. However, since then, Mr C, I have found documentation that the longest known strongyloide infection on record was 65 years, and there are also 58 strongyloides that can cause infection in humans.
    My regular doctor has referred me to Liverpool School of Tropical Medicine to see a parasitologist who specializes in strongylides. I am cautiously optimistic that something may actually be found….. but not silly enough to get my hopes up. Why? One is that, although it is touted as the best parasitology lab in the UK, they only examine “cold” specimens; in order to actually find strongyloides, the specimen must be examined within 30 minutes of collection. Another is that the blood antigen or antibody tests that are used look for known antigens or antibodies, and I am unconvinced that the “morgellons parasite” is a known parasite. I suspect that I will be told that “no strongyloide was found” either because testing was not robust enough or because they will not be looking for something that they have never previously seen. In agreement with your past blogs, I remain unconvinced that parasitic identification is possible and that my experience will mirror yours: nothing found. However, I will follow through with this appointment and I will come back to this blog and relate my experience and the results -whatever they turn out to be.

    Now, I will return to what I was saying in the beginning of my comments.There IS validity in your experience and in what you did that led to your getting well. Where that validity is and which portion of your protocol actually produced the desired results is unclear. But it is still there. You are the evidence of that. And as many people have said previous to my comments here, that is hopeful.
    Contrary to all my medical training and solid belief in anthelmintics -which worked while I was taking them and failed when I stopped, and which cleared all the parasites with the exception of the ones that cause y skin symptoms (and which I believe is the “morgellons parasite”)- I began an earnest look at what you were saying with regard to your protocol and experience. I found some things that were extremely valid and supported by a wealth of information from autoimmune disease specialists around the globe, and the information you used to support your theories was actually reiterated to me by my Lyme doc early this year.
    One was your use of NAC and amino acids to restore the immune system, eg the mitochondrial function. The other was your use of probiotics -specifically streptococcus thermophilus -a bacteria known to kill strongyloides in the digestive tract.
    I wanted to see if these things were necessary in combination, or if only one or two of them were needed to overcome this infection. So, I set about a trial.

    I began with NAC, amino acids and a really good vitamin that includes organ extracts. No, no relief from the itching and crawling, in fact, it got much much worse. What did happen was that my energy levels soared and I felt strong again for the first time in over a year.

    Next, I will add streptococcus thermophilus by way of a broad spectrum pro-biotic and Happy Tummy…. and I think that this may be the key. I suspect that it is the pro-biotic that will be the supplement that reduces the population of the organism that is making people ill and a clearing of the habitat while supporting the immune system that leads to recovery. And I will come back and report my experience on this blog.
    Lastly, you ask what can you do to help us?
    I will ask you to not archive this blog, but to keep it active because the seeds of healing are contained somewhere in it. I say this with understanding that you are well, that Morgellons is in your past, and that by asking that you keep this blog active I am asking you to keep part of your awareness in the past.
    You haven’t failed anyone, Mr C…… we are all -especially myself- so happy for your return to health!
    If you have done it, others can, as well.
    So, do be happy and know that you have done something most remarkable, something that has given us clues as to how to heal this illness….
    The answer to WHY that happened for you is in something you did to make it so….. now we just need to figure out what that was! Please do not give up on the rest of your followers….

  11. Please don’t give up. I enjoy all your posts and keep up the research. I find this site a safe haven from the insanity.

  12. Mr. Common Sense said:

    Thank you for all your kind comments. It thrills me to hear you not only still get something out of this site but that many of you are making real head-way. And Belinda I’ll be curious to hear of your results, anything is certainly possible.

  13. Well, Mr C,
    Tropical Diseases was utterly hopeless.
    It seems that the “decision” whether I had any parasite infection had been made even prior to my visit! And, further, was made even before any of my samples were submitted to the lab for analysis. I find this very curious.
    I guess this means that there is a new emerging field of parasitology: psychic parasitology! Just think what hope this will give to the health insurance companies in terms of lowering costs for diagnosis and treatment! Not to mention the pleasure it will bring to the psychiatric community in increased revenue.
    No, I was told, the symptoms that I described were never previously heard of or seen. In fact, during my description of symptoms, I have never seen anyone smile so pleasantly and look so thoroughly entertained. I, like those of us who have had or are still experiencing these horrendous symptoms, found nothing humorous or even vaguely amusing about any of it; still it was a testament to the vagaries of human behavior to see derision and indulgence under a thin veneer of impeccable manners and courtesy. An Oscar moment, indeed (or owing to the location, a BAFTA, perhaps).

    What a silly man. A missed opportunity to be entered into the history books for finding a very troublesome and apparently new, cause for a group of symptoms that cause so many so much suffering. But of course, we must not argue with or challenge these god-like beings, must we? For surely, they are all-knowing and there are no gaps in their learning or mistakes in their ‘assessments’.
    Still, the lab results must be dealt with, and a further ‘specimen’ submitted for comparison. That will take another two weeks. At which point, I will return with the final ‘analysis’.
    In the meanwhile, I continue with the amino acids, NAC and probiotics. The production of ‘parasites’, eg skin and environmental debris, is somewhat less, and my energy levels continue to be high, despite a grueling schedule and less-than-optimal sleep.
    This week, I add a spring cleanse and organ extracts support to my regimen. One-by-one, I will note any changes and improvements or set-backs from the evolving protocol.And it is still watermelon season! I will return with a further update.
    I hope that you continue to be well, Mr C and will keep us informed of your continuing health!

    • Mr. Common Sense said:

      Belinda, I’m so sorry to hear this news but unfortunately not at all suprised. In truth, there are only a handful of parasitologists in the United States and they have very little field experience. The are book experts (in other words, fools) and arrogant ones at that.

      Let’s look at the evidence here:

      CDC Reports Prevalence Of Worms Transmitted By Dogs And Cats To Humans Is Higher Than Previously Understood
      http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/87767.php

      Higher than 1 in 10 in the United States are infected with thier pets worms, and this by the CDC themselves.

      More information …

      http://abcnews.go.com/m/screen?id=2288095

      But a 25-year-old man in California headed to the emergency room last year with a burning feeling and something squiggling under the white of his eye.

      Doctors at the Highland General Hospital Department in Oakland, Calif., immediately started investigating what creature had decided to make its home under the man’s skin. They reported on their discovery in the June issue of the Annals of Emergency Medicine and kept his identity anonymous.

      Doctors learned he recently returned from a trip to Central and South America . But they realized it was a trip he made to Equatorial Guinea in Central Africa two years earlier on which he got the infection.

      For the previous 18 months, the Loa loa worm or Loaiasis (African eye worm) had been crawling underneath his skin causing itchy lesions in its wake, Dr. Shannon Moffett and Dr. Charlotte Page Wills reported in the journal article.

      http://abcnews.go.com/Health/PainNews/eating-terrible-parasites/story?id=10879111

      There are amazing statistics on how many humans in the US are infected with various types of worms, I just saw an article on it but cannot find it.

      The thing is we have almost no parasitologists and doctors actually “MOCK” patients who think they may have them. Doctors are stupid, they really are when it comes to parasites. I think the reason is it scares the living hell out of them, even more so to think a patient infected with them might be standing in their office, so they mock it, place the idea in the realm of impossibility because to think otherwise is to horrific (as we well know).

  14. Belinda said:

    Mr C,
    Thank you for that kindness.

    I note you refer to the US:
    “there are only a handful of parasitologists in the United States and they have very little field experience.”

    However, in my previous post I said my referral was to:
    “Liverpool School of Tropical Medicine…… touted as the best parasitology lab in the UK”…. “to see a parasitologist who specializes in strongylides”…

    which makes my recent experience all the more dire!

    And I whole-heartedly agree, whether general practitioners or specialists, most humans are terrified of parasites. Pity that in developed nations people think that they are somehow immune. In countries where parasites are readily acknowledged, anthelmintics and other anti-parasitics are easily available and people take regular prophylactic courses.

    The Oakland fellow was fortunate to have medical attention from doctors with an open mind; I am sure his travel history to S. America persuaded his medical carers to take him seriously, though. And I am happy for him that he is recovered.

    Still, it is important to remember one’s manners, even when confronted with blind opinion and preconceived ideas. Saying please and thank you and expressing an appreciation of someone’s time and effort with a hand shake is all an indication of good manners and breeding.

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