Well, it’s been a while since I’ve made a substantive post and I hope you can take this one in the spirit in which it is meant. Please bear with me while I touch on all kinds of subjects. At times what I say might be depressing while at other times hopefully what is said will lift your sprit and offer you hope. There may be times when I seem condescending, I do not intend it that way. I speak as though what I say is fact, it’s up to you to discard it or consider it as you see fit. As I mention names let it be known that I speak on my own behalf. I am not speaking for anyone else nor do I mean to put words in anyone’s mouth. I’m just going to speak freely and let the chips fall where they may.
First, my health is good. I consider myself free of Morgellons. While I do still have issues such as anxiety, Costochondritis, and so on I do not attribute these to Morgellons. The crawling, biting, fibers, and specks and classical Morgellons symptoms are gone. Am I in perfect health? No. But then who is. What I do not do however is walk around and attribute every ailment, ache, and pain to Morgellons. Morgellons is a very distinct ailment, you know when you have it, and you know when it’s gone.
What is Morgellons? Well, in my opinion it is the result of a cascading set of events which causes a catastophic failure of the detoxification system within the human body. Is it caused by parasites? No, it is not. However, remember, everyone on this planet has parasites. If your body turns into a garbage dump full of toxins, poisons, and candida then the parasite population is likely to explode, however this an effect, not the cause. What are the fibers? Are they exotic, other worldly, unexplainable artifacts? No, they are simple by-products of the human body which are being created from everyday elements. I think of them as a by-product of being a walking, human Super-Fund site. Is Morgellons a result of Lyme Disease? No, it is not. Is it true that most people with Morgellons will test positive for Lyme Disease? No, it is not, despite claims to the contrary. Do people with Morgellons also have Lyme Disease, yes, some do, but that doesn’t mean much. I won’t go into this futher but I could write a book on why I say what I do about Lyme Disease. Remember, these are all just my opinions; you are perfectly free to ignore them.
Should you spend your time researching and reading all of the crazy things posted about what the cause of Morgellons could be? No, that is an utter waste of your time. Morgellons is not so much a “thing” as it is a “state”. And this “state” or condition is the result of many, many things. That being said, there IS a specific state in which Morgellons manifests producing the crawling, biting, specks, fibers, and so on, so in that respect, it is a very distinct condition. But can one point to a bacteria, fungus, or parasite that causes Morgellons? No. Will they ever be able to? No, I don’t think so. The good news is however, it really doesn’t matter.
I have been at a loss for words since recovering, and now I know why. I’m going to tell you that reason in just a minute, but first this.
It would be a great story and truly inspiring if, looking back on the whole Morgellons experience, I could tell you that it made my life better, or was a profound experience that somehow made me a stronger person. While I might have thought those things initially having more distance between myself and those days has changed my opinion on that matter. Morgellons sucks, sorry for the frank language but that’s how I feel. I don’t want to think back on it, the misery, the impact on my wife and kids, the loss of professional credibility that could have easily ruined me, all of it, I want it forgotten. Morgellons stole at least three years of my life and has left a huge scar in my persona. People send me links about Morgellons, possible causes, new information, all kinds of things that I just cannot bare to look at. The truth is, I want to forget the whole miserable thing. So, if you’re one of those people forgive me, don’t stop sending them, my opinion on all this could easily change once more time passes. I hope you don’t mind my directness here.
I know why I have been at a loss of words, the truth is, I’m not qualified to offer much more other than comfort, encouragement and so on.
On September 28th I listened the MorgellonsFocus conference call with Dr. Dan Harper. I hadn’t listened to any of the conference calls “live” from MorgellonsFocus before that night. Now, before I continue I do correspond with Pamela of MorgellonsFocus from time to time and she knows why I haven’t listened, I want to forget this whole miserable mess. That being said, for some reason I felt I needed to listen to this call, with no prompting from anyone, except maybe the Holy Spirit.
Well, Dr. Harper started talking, for the first 3 or 4 minutes he was extremely technical, I was barely holding my own, but after that Dr. Harper began to put things in terms that were more easily understood. As I listened I became keenly aware that Dr. Harper had a deep understanding of the human body and how it worked, what he was saying seemed to fit with my understanding of terrain issues (which I learned of during this whole experience). Dr. Harper seems to hold a deep faith in our Creator as does John Burgstiner of Logos Nutritionals. As Dr. Harper continued I was deeply struck by the common sense medicine he was proposing, and the indepth understanding of the mechanics of the human body. There were some things that Dr. Harper spoke about which I don’t really subscribe to, one is the Chakra concept (which he mentioned in passing) and muscle testing. I could probably be more easily convinced of muscle testing. However, Dr. Harper spent very little time speaking of those two things, rather, he spoke of hard science regarding the human body. I was very impressed. I’ll be honest; I wish I could sit down and speak with him for a few hours. Not just because it would be interesting, but I would be able to understand how to take care of myself better.
After the conference call, instead of being elated I became depressed, a sense of hopelessness washed over me, and it lasted into the next day and is partially still there. After listening to Dr. Harper I became even more aware of how seemingly hopeless up our medical system truly is. I learned most of this on my own as I fumbled around desperately trying not to “kick off” due to Morgellons. Now, for the record, Dr. Harper never made such a statement that modern medicine is screwed up, in fact, he didn’t bash anybody, the truth is, he didn’t have to. Based on my feeble knowledge, and it is feeble trust me, I knew enough to know that what Dr. Harper was speaking of was the way to diagnose health issues and find the path of true healing. But why be depressed over such good news? Well, the truth is, there are probably only a handful of Dr. Harper’s in the country, certainly there is no Dr. Harper in my hometown that I can go and see. So many are suffering and not being helped by our current system, including me still. During the call-in portion of the conference call a woman called in who was too weak and sick to even get off of the couch. Had she been to many doctors? My guess is yes, probably more than she cares to remember. This is my opinion only, but my feeling is Dr. Harper can probably get her off that couch and living life again. It is hard for me to relay what I felt during the conference call, I would encourage you to listen to the call. Am I saying that Dr. Harper is the only way to get better? No, I’m saying that people like him are going to be the ones that lead us out of this mess. I have a great hope that by the time my children are my age Dr. Harpers knowledge will be common among doctors.
I also realize how deeply unqualified I am to be of any help. Oh sure, I published what I did with the “Poor mans Protocol I and II” which seemed to work for me, but it was all guess work, with some direction from other people of course too. I know I could still benefit through testing, which I have not done as yet.
I think what I can do however is be an encouraging voice (after this post, which is somewhat a downer tone) for those who are just coming to find themselves in this same mess. I can offer advice on how not to destroy your family and relationships, how to cope with this alone if need be, and let people know that they can find their way through this to better times. I have called a few people that were really bad off and at their wits end and am willing to do that at times.
Remember, I am better, and with testing and expert medical care at your disposal you have a much greater chance. In my opinion MorgellonsFocus is finding great resources for our community. I believe what Pamela is doing over at MorgellonsFocus by bringing in real experts is the way to go. I would encourage you to listen to the MorgellonsFocus conference calls. I told Pamela I was going to post a link to the recording of the conference call, but she had no idea I was going to say all this. You can find the September 28th conference call with Special Guest Dr. Dan Harper on this page:
It’s the 2nd recording entitled “Blocked Detox Pathways“.
Dr. Dan Harper’s Page
If I had a “sure fire” cure I’d post it the “same day” for all to have free of charge. I hope you know and believe that. I will continue to announce all conference calls from MorgellonsFocus and Mel’s site, both are good resources.